mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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