I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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