Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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