We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize