How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
