definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
