turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
