Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
