I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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