just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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