Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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