Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
