This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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