What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
