please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
