In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
