If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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