Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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