she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
