Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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