no one should ever give us hovercrafts
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
