White coat. Heels.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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