You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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