the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
