By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
