This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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