you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
