And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
