You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
