I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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