Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
