Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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