i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
