i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
