You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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