If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize