I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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