morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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