It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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