john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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