He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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