What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im six kinds of drunk right now
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy