so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..