Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"

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(616): View more from Michigan

somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."

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(678): View more from Georgia

I forgot wine drunk hurts

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