I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
