If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.