I'm retarded. Again.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless