Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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