google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
