i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
