I love black thongs
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
