I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
