I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
