Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
