I look better un-naked...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
