i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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