i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There's always time for handjobs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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