come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My feet surprised me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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