It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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