...so i touched it.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
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Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize