I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
