Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
