Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
