just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
