I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
